Wax the car

I want to tell yall a little story about anger. It was once a pretty big issue of mine. Yelling at my kids. Yelling at my husband. Yelling at my mom. Yelling at myself. Yep, all the people that should mean the most to me felt my anger. I could give you excuses. Some would sound like really good reasons for my behavior. But then I would be a victim of my circumstance. A vicitm controlled by my surroundings is not something I want to be. As I walked closer with Christ I also realized that a victim is not what He wants me to be either. So, I went to work praying on it. At first I thought I needed to focus on not yelling at my family. Seems the logical course of action, right? Well, God often doesnt use logic when He is working on you. He goes more Mr. Myagi and tells you to go wax a car. In this instance, He told me to stop yelling at people in traffic. Why God? They cant hear me. Isnt this a good way to let my anger out and no one gets harmed? But someone was getting harmed. For one, my son heard me yelling at every little mistake another driver made. Now, as he is driving he is so concerned about doing something wrong that he finds no joy in driving. He hates it. Is that all because of me? Probably not, but it sure didnt instill confidence and grace in him, did it? It also harmed me. It allowed me to react at a moments notice in a negative way to something that angered me. It let that immediate rage reaction be ok. Clearly, my first step was to practice harnessing my rage to complete strangers on the road. From the safety of my car I could hear God’s correction, seek repentance, and do better. Over time I gained wisdom on how to take a breath…just take a beat and think “how do I want to choose to react?” Because it is a choice. There is always a choice. Now, I hope my family has noticed a change in me. Sometimes these things we dont think is hurting anyone are the exact things that are giving us permission to behave badly. Currently I am working on gluttony of food. God has shown me that self control on Monday through Saturday doesnt mean I get to reward myself on Sunday with a free for all binge. That behavior allows me to remain in bondage to the sin of gluttony. It harms me. What is sin on Monday through Saturday is still sin on the cheat day. What do you need to go “wax the car” on? God will reveal it when you take it to Him in prayer and trust His process over your logic.