Where is the light?

One of the bible studies I am doing is called Setting Captives Free (settingcaptivesfree.com). This morning’s study was from the depression course. I wanted to share my thoughts as I went through this course.

I once had a huge issue with depression. It isn’t quite the struggle it once was but it still lingers. Satan certainly knows it is an easy button to push. The difference now is that I know what is happening and how to conquor it.

“In all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.” Romans 8:37

When I am not immersing myself in the light of God then I start to sink into the deep darkness, but as soon as I return to the light then the darkness is nothing but shadows. No deepness to it at all. I see it happening anytime I spend too much time on social media, watching tv shows, or even just in my own negative thoughts.

“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.”
Philippians 4:8

I have tried many ways in the past to bring light into my darkness.

-Manifesting positive thoughts. If I can think it then I can achieve it.
-Believing in karma. If I do good then good will come back to me.
-I even believed that just believing in Christ was enough and I could willfully continue in sin and be forgiven. I believed that was my salvation. No worries. Push that conviction away and keep riding.

  • Then I also believed if I behaved well enough God would keep bad things from happening in my life. And if something bad happened I must have done something wrong to anger God. (Kinda sounds like I turned God into karma, huh?)

I can see how the devil’s game is to always take a bit of truth and then twist it into evil for us to believe we are right and walking in light. He can keep us looking at the light while we are backstepping into the darkness.

“The serpent said to the woman; ‘Did God really say…”
Genisis 3:1

“Therefore be careful lest the light in you be darkness” Luke 11:35

“The Spirit alone gives eternal life. Human effort accomplishes nothing. And the very words I have spoken to you are spirit and life.”
John 6:63

The study quoted John Piper as saying:
“In other words, there is much that passes for light…that is not light. There are many bright things in the world that keep us from seeing the true light of Christ—just like city lights keep you from seeing the stars.”

Glory to God for removing the blinders from my eyes! Even as a Christ following Christian I was blinded to how I was living in Satan’s lies of panic, despair, depression, and brokenness. But now those blinders are gone and I see his schemes! I recently fell back in the darkness for a few days but I knew where to go! I get angry, not at myself for being deceived although I dont like that I fell for it, I get angry at the deceiver! How dare he come at me like that! Im not taking it anymore! Get behind me satan! I am going to be about my Father’s business! He has already battled him and won! Christ is on my side. What can he do to me? Im not scared of him anymore! He cant do a thing without my Father’s permission! And if my Abba has allowed it then it will somehow work to His glory. And His glory is holy and good!

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future”
Jeremiah 29:11

“For My thoughts are not your thoughts,
Nor are your ways My ways,” declares the Lord.
“For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
So are My ways higher than your ways
And My thoughts than your thoughts.
Isaiah 55:8-9

“then I saw all that God has done. No one can comprehend what goes on under the sun. Despite all their efforts to search it out, no one can discover its meaning. Even if the wise claim they know, they cannot really comprehend it.”
Ecclesiastes 8:17

Friend, let me tell you what I have learned from my good and wonderful Father.

-He doesnt expect us to fight this battle alone. It is only through a heart change that comes from His Spirit that we even change at all.

“Search me, God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.”
Psalm 139:23-24

-As we are changing to reflect His heart, we are covered by grace and mercy. No karma needed.

“Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.”
Psalm 23:6

“Because of the LORD’s faithful love we do not perish, for his mercies never end. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness!”
Lamentations 3:22-23

-Finally, the only way to peace and light and eternal salvation is following Christ.

“Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.”
John 14:6

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.”
Matthew 11:28-29

“Everyone then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on the rock. And everyone who hears these words of mine and does not do them will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell, and great was the fall of it.”
Matthew 7:24-27

And he said to them, “Follow me, and I will make you fishers of men.”
Matthew 4:19

Living a life of integrity

My bible study this morning was in Proverbs 11. As I studied verse 3: “the integrity of the upright shall guide them: but all the perverseness of transgressors shall destroy them.” I looked into the enduring word bible study and read their definition of integrity: “living a trustworthy life without shame or secrets.” I know what it is like to want to hide something. I have done it for years with my eating. Raise your hand if you have ever eaten a whole box of cookies and hid the container deep in the trash so no one would know. 🙋‍♀️ Maybe a mistake was made at work and everyone knows it but doesnt know who did it and you do everything in your power to hide that it was you. Or maybe you said something bad about someone and it got back to them and you do everything you can to jusitfy or lie about what you really said. Why do we do this? Shame. We are ashamed of ourselves. Shame comes in many forms. Embarrassment, depression, or hatefulness. There is a cure for that. The bible instructs us to live with integrity. Secrets are kept in the dark. When you bring them from dark to the light then healing of shame begins. We are also instructed to be humble. We all make mistakes. Be humble enough to live with integrity and shine light on what you did instead of putting so much energy into hiding it in the dark. “No, the cookies didnt mysteriously disappear and the kids didnt eat them. I ate the whole bag and threw them in the trash. I need help to pray over this.” “It was me that made that mistake and this is what I plan to do to make sure I dont do that again. If you have any other ideas I would like to hear them as well.” “Yes, I did get caught up in gossiping and it was about you. Im sorry about what I said and I pray you will forgive me and we can work through this. Im so sorry I hurt you.” Living a life of integrity doesnt mean you wont make mistakes. It means you own up to your mistakes and find ways to make it right. Mistakes have literally been made by the most important people in the bible from the beginning of time. Remember good ol Adam and Eve trying to hide in the garden like God didnt know where they were? Of course He knew, but like Adam and Eve, He wants us to bring it to the light willingly. Here it is Lord. I did it. Please help me correct it. And He will. Everytime.