As I sit here thinking about gluttony, I feel wore out. You all know that I have spoken on my gluttony with food more than once. It is such a thorn in my side! Our preacher has started a Wednesday night class that discusses how to apply biblical scripture to our lives. (Shannon Road Baptist Church, Pine Bluff, 6:00…for anyone interested. You dont even have to be a member of the church, just come on) He told us to write down any issues we would like discussed in the class. I wrote a long paragraph this morning about wanting to discuss gluttony and addiction. I wrote about my personal struggle and how I always feel like I am fighting a beast that wont give up. I wrote about how much I have brought God into the battle, yet, every day I wake up and the battle begins again.
I feel wore out and battle worn. Why is killing this sin so important to me? Is it for vanity reasons? Yes. Im not going to lie. I want to look fit and healthy. I want to look better in clothes I wear. That is another battle…I know. I also want to stay active. Sure, I can be overweight and active but this weight is holding me back from doing things I still really want to do! It holds me back even more the older I get. God has put a desire in me to be active and run around with kids and all that. I feel it slipping away the longer I hold on to this weight. But also…so much also…I dont want to keep putting food before a Father that loves me. For so long food has been my comfort. What was only meant to nourish my body I have been trying to use to nourish my soul. It cant do that. It wasnt meant to.
Anyway, after I wrote down my thoughts and questions the Spirit brought to mind “dont grow weary in doing good. For in due time you will reap a harvest.” This verse can apply to so many things but I have never applied it to food. Making healthy choices with food and being mindful of not overeating or eating when not hungry, and staying active are good. Those are good! Dont grow weary in doing those things! Then the Spirit brought to mind “of these things there is no law against.” All of these diets and rules have all of these laws. If I set my mind on doing good then eating a specific way or at a specific time or a specific calorie/carb amount doesnt have to be my law. Healthy choices, mindful eating, and staying active. Against these things there is no law.
Will there ever be a day that I wake up and this beast isnt the first thing on my mind? I dont know. I have no answer to that. But what I do know is God is walking me through it and I am not alone. I will not grow weary.
Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.
Set your mind on things above, not on things on the earth.
2 Corinthians 12:9
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.